I don’t know about you but I have found myself
compartmentalizing my hurts and wounds. There is the one for the small hurts (the
these ones I can deal with kind), and the other one of, these am too scared to
even look at because the demons in there are too big for me to deal with.
For
these, I just close the lid and go on a trip called, let's just pretend that everything is fine. I am fine.
They are fine, and the whole world is a huge bowl of fine!
I put on a crooked smile, which only lasts for a
little while, until my well-compartmentalized life begins to overflow everywhere and in everything,
especially where I do not want it.
Here is a little illustration of what unforgiveness
left undealt with will do to our lives.
* The
tree stump story*
Every
homeowner wants their front yard beautiful; they plant grass, pot flowers, trim
the fence, all in the quest of an eye worthy front yard.
This couple had just moved into a new house, a
new neighborhood, excited they made plans to clear the front yard and plant some
nice looking grass and flowers and they prepared and fertilized the soil then
went ahead and planted grass and flowers .
A
few weeks in, they noticed some white patches shooting up in the middle of
their grass and flowers. Without much thought to it, they just removed the
white patches and filled in the bare patches with new grass and flowers.
To
their amazement, the white patches reappeared, choking out the grass and the
flower seedlings. Unfazed and still determined to have the front yard of their dreams
they got to work again, scraping off and replanting again.
The problem persisted and this time it
reappeared bigger and fiercer than before.
The
couple decided to seek help from an old man who had lived in that neighborhood
for years and was familiar with the place. They inquired if he would know why
there were white patches on their front yard. The old man told them that years
earlier there had been a tree cut in that very spot.
Now with a different perspective. They dug up
a big hole in the front yard.
Lo and behold,
there indeed had been a tree, and when the tree was cut the stump and its roots
was left buried, hidden deep in the soil, rotted and now was poisoning the soil
around it.
To
remove the white patches that were choking out their plants, the stump and the
roots had to be completely dug out of the soil.
Therefore,
they began the gruesome work of removing the rotten stump and its roots. This
took longer than they had anticipated because they discovered that the roots
had gone deeper into the soil.
There
was no way around it. Slowly and painfully, bit by bit, boring brick by brick
they dug up the remainder of the roots ,treated the soil ,closed up the hole
and went ahead to have their beautiful front yard.
* * * *
Just like the tree stump. Hurts and wounds, when we
don’t deal with them correctly, will eventually get our attention in an
undeniably loud manner. Yes, they will. When they sloppily start to peek out of
the well-hidden boxes, tucked in our souls. Bit by bit they will choke out our progress in
life.
Unforgiveness has a canny way of manifesting its self.
Although its different for each individual; to some its fits of rage or uncontrollable temper, to others it’s
through self destructive behaviors’ while for others it’s just an inability to
be close to people no matter how much we try. We can all recognize our
peculiar ways. Don’t we? The thing about the past is if we do not deal with it.
It has a way of dealing with us somehow.
Unknowingly
we find ourselves cleaning out the front yard, trying to take out the white
patches. Nevertheless, the more we clean and scrape them off, the more they
continue reappearing and the more unsightly they make our front yards (Urgh!)
Frustrated and worn out, we finally realize that by
ourselves we can’t get rid of the white patches. We will forever be trying to
clean off the surface of our lives without really getting rid of anything.
We understand
that Jesus is the only person who can get deep into our hearts and remove every
dead and poisonous root that is poisoning our hearts and our lives.
Finally, we are
now ready to ask for His help.
I have found myself muttering under my breath, “not this again!” Flustered about something that shows up in my
life long after I think I have dealt with it. Not realizing it takes a while
for God to dig up the rotten roots (which have gone deep into my soul)
Sometimes
it is a fight because we tend to like our hurts. We
like them because we get to feel justified to act out and feel sorry for ourselves.
* Getting rid of the white patches*
By allowing God into our lives.
God is not
afraid of my mess he gets into my heart and unravels everything I have hidden
in there. He lovingly shows me the issues am refusing to deal with. And shows
me how to completely get rid of them.
He is patient with me and gives me time to walk in
forgiveness. There are times I have heard the loud whisper of the Holy Spirit
saying, “its time.” And I know He is telling me that the grace
period to feel bad or to ignore an issue is over.
It is time to face it.
Leave vengeance to God
Whenever somebody hurts, our first reflex action is
to hit back and hurt them as much as they hurt us.
Jesus sets a different standard.
When
He was reviled and insulted, He did not
revile or offer insults in return; when He was abused and suffered, He made no
threats of vengeance; but entrusted Himself to God who judges fairly. (1 peter 2:23)
It’s not our
job to retaliate, we leave this to God who judges fairly and will not let the
guilty go free. It’s Gods business how He deals with the people who have hurt
us not ours. Our job is to release them into God’s hands.
Jesus
already bore our hurts and wounds.
Sometime last
year, I was going through a season where I unknowingly carried unforgiveness in
my heart for someone who had hurt me. The
worst part was they didn’t know that their actions had hurt me. I was not only
mad at the person who hurt me but also mad at God for not protecting my heart.
I tried to run, I ignored it, I put up
emotional walls, and I was determined to protect my heart.
Until the Holy
Spirit asked me, “why are you carrying a
burden that Jesus already died for?”
I remember thinking what? Where is that in the Bible?
The Holy Spirit said, “By His wounds you were healed.” (1 peter 2:24).
Bare footed
and undone, sitting on my bed, I stared at this verse and cried out, “God
because 2000 years ago Jesus was heartbroken for my sake. I no longer have to bear this I release this
hurt in Jesus name! I literally felt the weight in my heart lift and finally I
was free! And free indeed.
This revelation changed my life. I was finally free to love without being
afraid of getting hurt again because Jesus paid the price for every hurt and
every heartache that this life would bring and I never have to bear it again.
We will get hurt because we live in a broken world
with broken people, but God has made the provision for us by carrying away our
hurts. We either receive healing by faith or carry the burden ourselves. It’s
our choice.
Trust
God to work it out for our good
It’s
sometimes very hard to imagine how something so hurtful, so awful, so appalling can be worked out for good. Still we serve a God who turns the
impossible into possible.
As
for you, you intended evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring
about the saving of
many lives. (Gen
50:20)
Joseph gave this answer to his cruel brothers. Whom 20 years earlier, had hated and despised
him because their father loved him more. They had sold him into slavery and
lied to their father that wild animals had eaten him. However, God had turned
that for good. Right there in the land of slavery had made him second in
command to pharaoh to sustain his father’s house from a seven-year famine.
selah.
His brothers thinking they were doing him harm were
actually doing them a favor. How weird is this turn of events?
Joseph is a man who had more to forgive than most
people yet he shows such a remarkable character in a way that is astounding.
God was able to use his painful experiences to shape and mould his character.
He will do the same in our lives if we allow him.
This is a lesson for us that no matter what the
enemy throws at us, no matter what hurts come our way. God is able to turn it
around for our good and for His glory.
No limit in forgiveness
Peter comes to Jesus and asks, “Lord, how many times
may my brother sin against me and I forgive him? As many as up to seven times?”
Jesus answered to him, “I tell you not up to seven
times but seventy times seven.” (Matthew 18:21-22)
According to the Jewish tradition, you were to
forgive as many as three times so peter thought he had really stretched himself
by forgiving seven times but Jesus corrects Him and says seventy times seven which in
the Hebrew language is a number without limit.
Jesus was saying in God’s economy there’s no limit
in the number of times we forgive. This is not to say that sometimes, God will
not allow us time away so we can heal.
It sounds impossible but with God everything is
possible and He will give us the grace to be able to forgive without limit.
We
forgive because we have been forgiven
God sent His son Jesus to die for our sins. He paid
such a heavy price for us and for others. Their trespasses against us have been
forgiven just like ours. For this reason, we are to freely forgive others.
Just because it’s a command from God doesn’t mean it
comes automatically to us.
Honestly most of the times I don’t feel like
forgiving. This is what I do when I feel like it’s a bit hard for me to
forgive. I get honest before God.
I say, “Father I know it’s your will that I walk in
forgiveness. I don't feel like it, don't even want to do it, I ask for
your grace to be able to. By faith, I receive your grace to forgive--------- I
put in their name, for ----------- I say what I forgive them for. I receive
healing in Jesus name.”
A
person, who finds it hard to give grace to others, is a person who thinks they
never will require the same grace.
God bless you.
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